To Have an Undivided Heart

"It is seldom that any of our [idolatries] disappear by a mere process of natural extinction...or by the force of mental determination. But what cannot be destroyed may be dispossessed.

It is not enough to come forth with a demonstration of the evanescent character of your enjoyments...to speak to the conscience...of its follies.

Rather, try every legitimate method of finding access to your hearts 
         for the love of Him 
                                who is greater than the world" 

--Thomas Chalmers, "The Expulsive Power of a New Affection" (emphasis added)

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If you feel closer to Jesus when you're outside, go outside.

If you feel closer to Jesus when you're baking, bake every morning.

If you feel closer to Jesus when you're wearing red, wear red every day.

If you feel closer to Jesus when you're playing in the sand, get a sandbox.

If you feel closer to Jesus when you're taking a bath...well, you get the idea.

On My Mind

I had an hour break between classes, and threw together a PB&J sandwich to choke down. I sat on the couch and started stuffing it in my mouth, feverishly going over all the things I had to get done after class, and thinking about all the people I still had to contact/email, etc. That sandwich wasn't getting a lot of love...

Jesus sits next to me. He asks,

How are you, Emily?


Look, Jesus, I'm too busy to talk right now, okay? I've got ALL THIS STUFF TO DO and I'm freaking out!!!!! GAAAAH I HATE MY LIFE!
Then I start to cry...(yes, I do that a lot). I look up at him...

Jesus reaches over to my head and opens it up at the top. A long scroll suddenly bursts out and start unrolling onto the couch. It keeps going and going, onto the floor and all the way to the door.
On the scroll are written many, many things:

1. Visit Jessica
2. Finish your paper
3. Pay rent
4. Clean the kitchen
5. Write a better resume
6. Paint that still life
7. Call mom
8. Email Ben
9. Go through your receipts
10. Read your textbooks

...and so on, ad infinitum. Literally, this scroll has more ink than paper!

Then Jesus grabs his sleeve and proceeds to wipe the scroll, from top to bottom, clean. All the words disappear, pushed off the end.
He picks up a big, thick marker and starts to write, in giant letters that fill the empty space:

I LOVE YOU - Jesus


Then he gently rolls the scroll up all the way, and neatly places it back in my head.
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I heave a giant sigh and lean on him. All of a sudden I notice that there's a bite of PB&J in my mouth. Wow, that tastes good! I start to chew slowly, and relax into his arms around me.

The Purpose of Life is NOT Getting Things Done

I have a lot of dreams. I also have a lot of desires. In fact, my heart is so FULL of longing and desire that it often overwhelms me. I accumulate lists upon lists of all the glorious projects I want to embark on--recipes to try, paintings to paint, books to write, crafts to build or sew...you get the picture.

But because of the reality of limited time, I usually end up standing in front of those lists and feeling condemned by them. I hear my ever-present accuser whisper, "Look at all these thing you still have to do, Emily. You're never going to get all this done. You're not doing a good enough job." 

Satan WOULD turn something like a dream or desire into a source of guilt and shame, wouldn't he?

And those aren't even the "more necessary" to-do list items...

It was into this storm of guilt and fear over how "good of a job" I was doing that Jesus spoke:

We have TIME, Emily. 


There is NO NEED to rush...we have all of forever to make our dreams come true. So don't worry about making everything happen now, or if things you want to see happen aren't happening. They will all happen in time. 

This day is not about getting things done. There's no rush. Today is about learning how to follow me, how to be with me. Let me love you.

Life is NOT primarily about getting things done. You're here primarily to learn how to be with me.

God created us to be with him. He placed us here on earth so that we can connect with him and enjoy his presence. He invites us to do things not so that we can earn his love or be productive and therefore worthy. Rather, he invites us to do things (jobs, ministry) SO THAT WE CAN LEARN TO BE CLOSER WITH HIM.

He doesn't say, "Do this ministry and make yourself useful!" He entreats, "Come, beloved child. Come join my work and learn my ways. Come, do new things with me and you'll see new sides of my love for you."

The purpose of life is NOT getting things done.

The purpose of life is LEARNING HOW TO BE WITH GOD.

You have all of eternity to do things with God if you learn how to be with him.

This means (for me at least), that all the wonderful and overwhelmingly numerous dreams I have don't have to loom over my head like a giant to do list. So what if I don't have a chance to write that book, or do that painting? I have all of eternity to write and paint and dance and play with God...so I don't worry.

Of course, the flipside is to make sure to pay attention to the dreams that God specifically places on your heart...because those are the places he's calling you in this life in order to teach you how to know him, how to be with him, in preparation for your eternal life together.