To Have an Undivided Heart

"It is seldom that any of our [idolatries] disappear by a mere process of natural extinction...or by the force of mental determination. But what cannot be destroyed may be dispossessed.

It is not enough to come forth with a demonstration of the evanescent character of your enjoyments...to speak to the conscience...of its follies.

Rather, try every legitimate method of finding access to your hearts 
         for the love of Him 
                                who is greater than the world" 

--Thomas Chalmers, "The Expulsive Power of a New Affection" (emphasis added)

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If you feel closer to Jesus when you're outside, go outside.

If you feel closer to Jesus when you're baking, bake every morning.

If you feel closer to Jesus when you're wearing red, wear red every day.

If you feel closer to Jesus when you're playing in the sand, get a sandbox.

If you feel closer to Jesus when you're taking a bath...well, you get the idea.

On My Mind

I had an hour break between classes, and threw together a PB&J sandwich to choke down. I sat on the couch and started stuffing it in my mouth, feverishly going over all the things I had to get done after class, and thinking about all the people I still had to contact/email, etc. That sandwich wasn't getting a lot of love...

Jesus sits next to me. He asks,

How are you, Emily?


Look, Jesus, I'm too busy to talk right now, okay? I've got ALL THIS STUFF TO DO and I'm freaking out!!!!! GAAAAH I HATE MY LIFE!
Then I start to cry...(yes, I do that a lot). I look up at him...

Jesus reaches over to my head and opens it up at the top. A long scroll suddenly bursts out and start unrolling onto the couch. It keeps going and going, onto the floor and all the way to the door.
On the scroll are written many, many things:

1. Visit Jessica
2. Finish your paper
3. Pay rent
4. Clean the kitchen
5. Write a better resume
6. Paint that still life
7. Call mom
8. Email Ben
9. Go through your receipts
10. Read your textbooks

...and so on, ad infinitum. Literally, this scroll has more ink than paper!

Then Jesus grabs his sleeve and proceeds to wipe the scroll, from top to bottom, clean. All the words disappear, pushed off the end.
He picks up a big, thick marker and starts to write, in giant letters that fill the empty space:

I LOVE YOU - Jesus


Then he gently rolls the scroll up all the way, and neatly places it back in my head.
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I heave a giant sigh and lean on him. All of a sudden I notice that there's a bite of PB&J in my mouth. Wow, that tastes good! I start to chew slowly, and relax into his arms around me.